.Esxcape.My.Dreamsx.

2009-09-05T09:16:00.000-07:00

♥Dead by April♥,The Legion Of Doom, Escape the Fate, brokeNCYDE, I Set My Friends on Fire, Framing Hanley, Sum 41, Avenged Sevenfold, Linkin Park, Kutless, HollyWood UnDead, Anberlin, The Used, Bullet for my Valentine, Rise Against, Smile Empty Soul, Red, Pillar, Story of the Year, Disturbed, Breaking Benjamin, Marilyn Manson, Tokio Hotel, Skillet, Three Days Grace, 30 Seconds to Mars, My Chemical Romance, Scary Kids Scaring Kids, Saosin, Trivium, We the Kings, HelloGoodBye, Hinder, HIM, A Day to Remember, Owl City, All Time Low, All That Remains, Attack Attack!, Eyes Set to Kill, We Came as Romans, The Blackout, Five Finger Death Punch, Lacuna Coil, Funeral for a Friend, Emery, A Static Lullaby, The Cab, MayDay Parade, There For Tomorrow, Four Year Strong, 3oh!3, and laik a bunch more.

♥Dead by April♥, Lucuna Coil, Scary Kids Scaring Kids, Mindless Self Indulgence, Escape The Fate, With Broken Wings, Head Automatica, Saosin, A Cursive Memory, Silverstein, Slipknot, Get Scared, Metallica, Madina Lake, Three Days Grace, A Skylit Drive, The Used, Underoath, Emarosa, Boys Like Giirls, Brokencyde, From First To Last, Owl City, Bless The Fall, Metro Station, We The Kings, Story of the Year, Skillet, Marilyn Manson, The Devil Wears Prada, Hawthorne Heights, Chiodos, The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus, The Legion of Doom, Eyes Set To Kill, The Medic Droid, Attack Attack, Breathe Carolina, Bring Me The Horizon, Soldiers Of A Wrong War, Despite I Bleed, Upon This Dawning, From Dying Skies, Ayleen, For Revenge, Arsonist, Cobra Starship, A Static Lullaby, Secondhand Serenade, Small Leaks Sink Ships, Jamestown Story, I Set My Friends On Fire, New Found Glory, The Academy is..., Danger Radio, Fight Fair, The Messenger, A Place Called Here, The Fall Of Troy, System Of A Down, Muse, Hollywood Undead, Cute Is What We Aim For, Shiny Toy Guns, Tokio Hotel, 30 Seconds To Mars, Good Charlotte, Family Force 5, Anberlin, Breaking Benjamin, Job For A Cowboy, All American Rejects, Bullet For My Valentine, Funeral For A Friend, Say Anything, DropDead Gorgeous, August Burns Red, Fear Before The March Of Flames, Pierce The Veil, Kill Hannah, Belay My Last, Burning The Masses, Disturbed, Therefore I Am, Asking Alexandria, Eatmewhileimhot, Dance Gavin Dance, Less Than Jake, The Ataris, Bayside, There For Tomorrow, Architects, Black Veil Brides, Sing It Loud, The Higher, Mayday Parade, Vannacutt, Circle Takes The Square, Closure In Moscow, Modern Day Escape, 5 Years And Counting, The Kinzie Affair, A Smile From The Trenches, This Romantic Tragedy, The Word Alive, Before Their Eyes, I See Stars, In Fear And Faith, Close To None, Of Machines, This City In Collision, To Save A Hero, Kutless, We're Not Friends Anymore, Sleeping With Sirens, At The Skylines, With Grace We Fall, Ezera, A Lot Like Vegas, The Glorious Fall, Watchout! There's Ghosts, Lower Definition, NeverShoutNever, And Then There Were None, 3OH!3, I Would Set Myself On Fire For You, A Day To Remember, Handshakes and Highfives, Finaloath, Circa Survive, Amy Can Flyy, Rediscover, Action Item, Show Me The Skyline, We Came as Romans, Falling In Reverse, Suicide Silence, Greenday, Nice Guys Finish First, Smile Empty Soul, White Tie Affair, Papa Roach, Asteria, Something Corporate, The Maine, Shapes Of Race Cars, Sonny Moore, Cutting The Vital, A Memorable Day, Hit The Lights, The Ready Set, Skylong, Life Beyond Struggle, Thrice, Every Avenue, Josh Gantner, New Fable February, Armor For Sleep, Nirvana, Static Lullaby, Lost In The Light, Stereo Skyline!, ISMFOF, All that remains, Trivium, Five Finger Death Punch, Red, Pillar, The Fray, The Cab, Emery, HelloGoodBye, and so much more! x)

Everything

2009-08-22T20:29:00.000-07:00

Days pass.
As I stare.
Mood sways..
Drooping arms.
No more smiles.
No more happiness..
No more dreams.....

Now it's too late for me.
Cause I've passed on.
Passed on...
Moved on...
To the world of the unknown.
To the world where happiness fell..
To the world where everything that happened was suddenly remembered.
To the world where everything was opposite.
To the world where no one knew anything about.

Where I was once again remembered...
But in a way,
where they finally knew
What they had done.

Where I would finally smile again...
And finally be known
For what I have done...

I haate my life....

....

2009-08-11T14:44:00.000-07:00

I just feel horrible, and I honestly don't know anything else to say..

Whatever, you read it, then you read it.

I just hope... things get better... Things aren't okay right now...
There isn't a positive side I can look on..

I just feel horrible.. Mentally, Physically.. I dunno. I'm sick.. My heart hurts... I can barely sleep without worrying.. My family is in crisis..

I honestly, don't know what to say...

Eric.. probably doesn't need me... And I know he's going to leave me from the looks of how he acts... I'm nothing to him....

Oh dammit... I have no one to talk to ever... I can't talk to him about it.. Cause I'm still nervous to talk thing over with him... I just wish things would get better...

No one understand me... Not even him... If only they did... I'd have someone to talk to..

I've been crying all day, I want the tears to stop... Cause I know it's over soon... My heart hurts and it's telling me...

Dammit... and the only person I can talk to is this stupid blogspot... I can't cuddle with a cat.. or a hamster... Cause I don't have a cat... Hamsters are too small..

When I'm sad, I cuddle with my pillow and pretend it's someone special... Like.. the one and only person who wouldn't desert me.. who loves me for me. Who doesn't laugh at what I tell them.. Who doesn't care whether I'm pretty or not.. Who knows me...
I listen to happy music too. So I can feel happy.. and forget about life... and pretend I have at least some hope...
"I'm Yours- Jason Mraz" makes me feel sorta happy.. "If it means a lot to you- A Day to Remember" makes me feel happy too...

Talking to happy people make me happy too.. Like old men with happy smiles and all..

I hope things go alright....

Heart.

2009-07-13T19:16:00.000-07:00

Honestly, I don't know what to say.

Abbuse.

2009-07-13T19:01:00.000-07:00

Well... Uhm.

How would it feel like you're trapped in a isolated house, not allowed to even go out with friends, and result to going on the computer and being COMPLETELY yelled at...

Well.. what else do you want me to do, DAD? All I can simply do is go on the computer because there is NOTHING else to do. Or without you having to tell me what I can/can't do.

WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO DURING THE *SUMMER*.

You know.. Summer? Time to relax? Wow. And you put me in a position where I have do nothing at all.

You won't take me anywhere, you don't even care for your family, you don't even love us.

Really, you're one of the worst fathers ever. I hate you. And that's it.

I really do hate you. I don't care what anyone says. I HATE you. You don't understand one bit about being a dad you stupid illiterate piece of shit.

You will never be my father.

Wish.

2009-07-02T17:53:00.000-07:00

Smaller the better..
The bigger the worse.

I wished big.. and all it did, was flashback right at my heart.

What did I do?

...
Absolutely nothing.

Let me fall... Let me crash. Let me fall...

Let it all.. Let it all....

Gut.

2009-06-25T15:24:00.000-07:00

I hate this feeling.

Inside me.. it tells me to let loose and to just relax.. But what I want to do, is to jump up and fight back.

If you know what I mean.
What I want to do is to get rid of pain. I want to put myself out of my misery.
Yeah... I said it.

I just hate it... and no one will stop me if I try.

Care.

2009-06-21T18:08:00.001-07:00

Don't give a care for me.

Because I wouldn't deserve one.

Waiting for a lifetime, I still don't believe that it's true.

Are you true?

Can you really be true?

Or just a fake... Like everyone else.

I'm better off alone.

I really know it.

School.

2009-06-21T09:43:00.000-07:00

I need to try harder in school... Because it's based on my life and If I don't .. then there's a consequence.
Which is pretty stupid once you think about it. They take the kid life which is fooling around and having fun and put their future on it with educational boring things. Kids do know that it's their future ahead... but do they really truly know education is where no fun stands?
School is somewhat serious... and some of the teachers seem as if they their jobs and just wanted the job to kids..
I just wish school was easier and I didn't have to worry about it so much.

School's a bummer.

If teachers were just a tad nicer and good teachers too... then kids would have more fun.. the teachers needs to have control of the kids... but still have fun and be jolly. If this really did happen.. I would be doing so much better in school.. I wish every teacher was an amazing teacher,,like a nice one and a controllable one. One that would never raise his/her's voice... I just wish that every teacher would be the perfect teacher.

What we need in schools.. are teachers who act like they like their jobs. Teachers who enjoy being with kids and not losing their temper.

Just wish we had better teacher in our school.

Lies.

2009-06-13T10:30:00.000-07:00

...

How would it make you feel if you had that twist of guilt in your gut that you can't untwist? How would it make you feel if you couldn't say the truth because the truth is twined within those twists?

I don't know what to do.
...Whether to say the truth and being d for the rest of my life.. Or live on a lie still standing with love..
"I rather be d for being myself than being loved for something I'm not."
That quote was wrote by an anonymous. But... I don't know. The feeling of love so strong.. and it feels so freaking good inside my mind.. Like someone holding you forever in his/her arms and it having the amazing feeling that no one could ever give to anyone else..

Love is so strong... And I just don't know what to do. I feel as if, I'm in clutches of two people trying to rip my arms off.
If I could just have the answer.. instead of myself getting to it.

I want the answer what he'd think of me if I told him the truth.

I want to tell him the truth.. But I don't know whether if I'm going to lose someone so dear to my heart, putting my dreams on top of him.. My mind being obsessed with him.. and me telling one of the most worst lies in the whole world... EVEN after I'd promise him no more lies...
I don't see myself without him.. He just simply completes me.. and I don't ever want to lose him..

we made promises that we'd love each other forever.. I'm afraid.. if I tell him the truth, we'd break that promise.. and I'll be lost.. lost in my own lies.

If only I could know his answer.. and he'd forgive me...

I want to get rid of this guilt.. It's twisting inside of me and churning into my thoughts.

I just want to know what will happen if I tell him the truth. I don't want to ever lose him..

He just completes me and I would be nothing if he left..
I'd miss that feeling that he gives me...
That happy feeling that amazingly makes my day.

So many promises.. So many smiles.. So many feelings..

I don't know what to do.
-JamieCheu

I'm Sorry.

2009-06-12T20:45:00.001-07:00

I'm sorry that I'm not the one that you want.
I'm sorry that I'm not the one they you want.
I'm sorry you can't hold me.
I'm sorry I'm such a bitch.
I'm sorry I'm in love with you.
I'm sorry I'm not the right one.
I'm sorry I'm not perfect.
I'm sorry I can't be yours.
I'm sorry that I'm different.
I'm sorry I can't be that one person.
I'm sorry I'm not right.
I'm sorry I'm not the one you want.

I'm sorry I'm a liar.
-Jamie Cheu